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Dear Anand,

When my son, David invited me (and everyone else he knows in NYC) to attend the showing of your film at MOMA, I felt willing to go. However, deep inside without realizing it, I put up a familiar wall of skepticism that would keep me safe from "getting involved."

Watching the movie, I felt like I was having an incredible conversation with someone on issues that are hard to talk about - and hard to step up to the plate and take a stand on. The movie was like having a conversation with a dinner guest - someone whose opinions and point of view are nothing less than life change.

What I mean is, there is no place for mere "intellectual curiosity" in seeing your film. I think there are only two ways to respond - one is to join those who are in denial about the horrific effects of war or two, actively join those who are working for peace. (Is this just black and white thinking?)

I wanted to ask a question at the end of the film - but I couldn't articulate my feelings, doubts, fears. It has taken these many days since the film to sort them through.

My thinking/questioning/discomfort is at the heart of why I stepped away from activism many years ago. Does it really do anything, I wonder? Or do the loudest voice for peace and justice just get killed.

Sorry to be so cynical - but that is where my passion for peace and equality is buried. There was such an annihilation of all of those passionate voices in my 20's -shocking, overwhelming, and silencing.

Also, it was messy. I didn't always agree with the organizers of the peace movement or the civil rights movement. It was confusing to choose a way to belong - to join my passion with others in a way that maintained my separate voice. How do you join a group so that your voice helps to make the point and yet how do you have some leverage over the way those leaders behave?

It is hard to wake up from the trauma of that error/era - the horrific violence to Gandhi and Martin Luther King and Robert Kennedy and Kent State. At some unconscious level, I buried my outrage - I put my sense of justice and fighting for the underdog deep inside and I set up a life that got filled up with children and making money and buying a house and things and creating a career and getting recognition. I had a voice for local injustice - for small scale injustice...but I left behind the moral outrage, the connected passion for global survival - for humanity's call to live life in peace and love and connection to the Creator.

And your film, awakened that in me again. It awakened the desire to make a difference and the fear of having my voice not matter at all. It awakened in me the outrage at the euphemism and lies that war-mongers espouse and it uncovered the timidity of joining my unsure voice with others that I don't trust.

No small feat for one little film.

Thank you for the wake-up call. I wish you well in your pursuit to get your voice heard. The timing is perfect. The world needs you right now. I, too, wish I could help. Now I must find my voice and my action.

All the best,

Connie LaMotta


Click to see letters by Anasua, Richa, Aakansha, Sonam, Ritu, Connie, Rahul, Moinak

 
 
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